Ashwins growing sense of self and need to control his little world

He's 2.5. He's got the idea that he has an identity- ask him his name now he'll tell you ashiwin ram. No more 'I don't know'. With that sense of identity comes this need to exert some control over his life. Like the milk drinking ritual. Oh gosh I'm waiting for it to pass! 

He asks for milk. Specific person to make it none other. Then we bring it to him and he says ' I don't want! ' - exerting his sense of self see. So we say okay and put it away, preferably within his sight. We lie down. He'll then say I want mum mum. Then we  hand him the bottle with the cover on. He lies down and removes the cover himself. If its too tight he gives it back to me to loosen till its just right. Couple of testy episodes may pass for this first stage to be perfected. 

Then he removes it and hands it to my left hand. Not right but left. Then I pass it back to him to re- cover and take out again for some mystical reason I can't fathom. And again till the perfect state is achieved in his mind. On good days this is just once. On cranky nights this can go on for five rounds or more- like 2.30  this night! 

When he is finally pleased with state of the bottle cover having been removed , handed to the correct hand and placed down in the correct spot , he proceeds to guide the bottle to his mouth. If any milk spills - he cries- "wipe milk on my beard :( or hand or wherever." Then at last it goes in. Hurrah! 

Then he's a little angel of course. Happy, full,  he turns over And sleeps with a smile.  :) 

And I of course am Completely awake by then at 3 am !!!! Now it's 5.30. Good night. Kids will be up by 7.30! 

Mess

It's 5 am now. I've been up since 2.30 am. Putting ashwin back to bed then could not get sleep coz- " there's a crowd in my head" as always. 

I have to clean that last room. It's gotten to the point of becoming an obsession. Then I have to clean the whole house too. Unbelievable amount of junk in my house it's mind boggling! 

I have unfinished work from office too. Sigh oh sigh. 

Akshaya's bad fall

Akshaya had a bad fall and I didn't realize how responsible I felt for it happening till I had a personal screaming session yesterday morning where I yelled and bawled my eyes out. 

Sigh. Feel constantly inadequate at times! 

How to leave for work?

As I was leaving ashwin woke up and I had to tell him Ramu Somu story 5 times in row to calm him down. Then he flashed such a sweet smile! And I said I have to go to work and left the room and he took me by the hand and brought me back to room saying "let's be cojy"! 

How to leave? So now I'm an hour late but I don't care- it's worth it! 

Ashwin growth chart

AaNov8:

2 year5 mth

17.5kg

99 cm

Dec9 13

18.7 kg 

98 cm

Dec9 13

Akshaya - 111 cm

20.2 kg

Ashwin says excuse me things!

And you're welcome when we thank him for a kiss! 

Genes vs jeans and other cute things kids say

Saro and I were talking in the room with akshaya there. I was joking with saro thy although the kids look like me they seem to have inherited his characteristics. I exclaimed" I don't sermy genes at all!"..,akshaya piped up - "check your cupboard Aatha! " 

Took me a while to get it;) sweet darling! We laughed and laughed! 

Ashwin says .. When I say shiva shiva he corrects me- shiva uncle not shiva shiva! 

Leaving for work

So yes. I was ready to leave by 8.05am. Then I offer - come akshaya I can brush your teeth so gong boatman of Bali before I leave. Then I make her milk. Then ashwin says he needs to go to the potty. Then akshaya says read one short story to me please. Okay I'm done- about to leave - ashwin takes me to the room to read a short story to him- them I'm out- amidst drama of ashwin crying and many attempts to distract him and then I'm out- time- 8.35am! 

Being cozy- cojy

Ashwin has discovered the joy of the bolster and the word cozy- and now every night at bedtime he's gathering all the pillows he can get his hands on and bunches them around him and the bolster and says- in the sweetest voice possible- I'm being cojy! Being cojy! Adorable! 

Sister or brother!

Akshaya prayed for a baby brother and voila he was born:) 

Now ashwin wAnts a thangachi pappa who will call him Anna! 

God answers little children's prayers:) 

May be a girl!!!!

You know the recent scare I had where I ended up in hospital? Well doc on duty said looks like baby is a girl! Haha. I was super excited. Will wait to find out soon enough:) 

Having one boy and one girl- really nice! One more-- canbe anything and willbe nice. If a boy- the relationship can be like saro and sendhil maybe? Brothers both responsible caring loving confiding in each other. If a girl - can be like Aatha and Sala Chithi maybe? Long distance yet close confiding - true friend? All three willbe great friends I hope and loving and caring people - both to one another and rest of the world. My real blessings! Really my blessings! Gods most precious gift god's sweetest blessing god's greatest gift of joy! 

Ashwin says his prayers

Ashwin darling is learning to say prayers and I am learning from him how to say them! He calls out tbs prayers with laughter and joy! Pallum theli thenum... Ends with sanga tamil mundrum thaaa!!!!

Now learning vaakundam. He loves learning them so he asks to say the prayers over and over again till he learns it. Pure joy! 

Baby likes apple!

Hehe- baby gave z little kick after I ate a crunchy apple! Yay! 

I love you Aatha

This morning as I left for work - ashwin stood at the gate and told me bye. He asked me for a hug and then said I love you Aatha!!! 

Lovely! 

Akshaya of course wished me kick as always 

I really do love mornings with the children! 

Felt baby kick!

Today morning at 5 am I felt baby kick! For the first time I'm really sure! A quiet little thump at the bottom left hand side of my tummy- womb I guess:) felt like a foot! I felt it once. Got so excited waited a awhile then felt it again! Then I knocked the area and baby kicked again! Felt a good 4-5 times! 

Am very excited coz I thought I felt some slight movements - what they call flutterings but couldn't be sure. With ashwin I thought I felt him move really early and doc said I must have mistaken so was quite sad then. So now didn't want to say anything till I was sure but today or was there' I felt our little baby:) plus from the last scan - my gosh this one is an active mover!!! 

Wanted to wake saro to get him to feel but was worried if I moved I wouldn't feel the little one again coz of the shift in position. So 2 nd sep is the day! 

Kannu kutty always

Today morning akshaya climbed into my lap and I konjied her calling her Kannu kutty. She smiled her precious smile and said I'll still be your Kannu kutty when I am in primary school right? " I rocked her and said yes of course and the she said I'll still be your Kannu kutty in secondary school right? 

So sweet! Of course she will be! But she doesn't know she may not want me to hug and Rock her then the way I do now:p 

Well guess we'll all just learn along the way:) 

I want to watch violence!!!!!

Children do say the darnest things;) 

We were watching tv and ashwin had his eyes glued on to the set where there were people fighting. Saro exclaimed- "ashwin! No watching violence!" he repeated "violence". So we switched off the set and he screamed I want violence!!!! Haha it was hilarious! Then he got hurt coz he thought we were mocking him and burst into tears. 

And yesterday akshaya was so sweet! 

I was home late and explaining to my mum that it was coz I had been working on the budget. She must have remembered how I had told her I hated working in budgets. She told me so seriously " it's okay Aatha. You can practice your budget with me then you'll be okay:)". I was so touched. Had to carry her and hug her! 

Boy or girl?

So... At this point akshaya and I think it may be a girl and saro brother rajee arun and Aatha and saro's mum think it may be a boy- do we read this as us wanting a girl and the rest wanting a boy? Maybe but I Know for sure all of us will be happy with whichever gender baby is:) 

Growing baby

Ashwin's art work was fabulous yesterday:) have I told you about his reading habits? His idea of reading a Buk is to read a few favorite pages over and over again- rarely the whole book. He flips quickly to the end after the fav page and asks- shall we read one more time? So adorable! 

He's taken to a few fav phrases too- I want I want I want. I dowan dowan dowan! So he asks for milk - we make it- he promptly turns on his tummy and cries out I dowan I dowan I dowan! It's like a game for him. Then we force feed him and he finishes it! 

We had a bhajanai session the other day . He sat on Senthil periyamma's lap- yes he calls him periyamma! - and when we finished one song he called out- sing another song! He loves music. 

Sweetest things they say!

Ashwin gets into the front seat and claims he's drivering! 

Akshaya thinks shoes are living things coz they grow smaller

Ashwin says elephant now: no more empatam 

The baby journey

First gonna chart my weight

55.0- 0 weeks

54.4- 9 weeks

55.4- 10 weeks

55.3- 15 weeks

57.2- 19 weeks 

59-21 weeks

61- 25 weeks

63 - 29 weeks

64.7-33 weeks 

65.4-37 weeks

66.4- 38 weeks

66.8- 39 weeks 

30 weeks today! 20 nov. My oh my! In 2 months or so baby girl will be here! 

14 jan- ponggal 

I'm 1-2 cm dilated:) I'm excited! It could be anytime soon! I'm supposed to look out for water bag bursting or leaking or regular contractions 5-7 min apart:) me excited! 

Need to pack a bathrobe and get a gift for akshaya and a kandar Sashti cd. Might be right after thaipusam I think! 

Baby is here! 27 jan at 39 weeks and 4 days

Happy national day - at a and e

So ashwin fell today and the corner of the black table cut deep into his forehead

Blood gushing rushed to hospital - sucks! 

Getting rid of the table tomorrow. 

Getting corner guards and anti slip mats for the bathroom too. 

Ode to ashwin's cheeks

Sweet round & soft

Gathering snuggly wuggly kisses

Though all the treasures of the world be mine

None come close to my kutty baby's cheeks! 

Shall we read it one more time?

And baby ashwins vocabulary is just growing and growing! 

He told saro tat yesterday- shall we read it one more time? 

Of course- he's also constantly negotiating boundaries! He's taken to crying everyone he doesn't get something he wants immediately. Such tears pool from his eyes and he cries angry disappointed tears! Drama! But no , I'm sure he feels it keenly and is just expressing it the only way he knows how.

We need to teach him to enjoy delayed gratification!  

Sometimes he picks up Unintended lessons- like I had baked a chocolate cake which he loves. I wanted to give some to the neighbors kids first before my own- common courtesy. He started crying as soon as he saw me give a slice to Saphire first. I tried telling him I'm going to give you too ashwin bit he kept crying till he received his slice. Layer saro came out and baby ash proudly announces to daddy- "ashin cying cying cying aatha giving cake!!!!" 

Aah! Not the lesson I intended him to learn! 

So having to be extra careful around him now! 

I love him so! Mornings waking up next to him are a delight. He pulls me to the potty brings me back cuddles with me drinks milk lying on my lap plays with me- such joy! 

Baby scan

Tomorrow is ashwins second birthday and today I'm here for my 12 week scan of kutty baby 3:) 

Baby is so active! I shall hold that image in my mind forever- my own special thing- or the scanning doc and I saw her. ( or is it a him;)) I think a her. Let's wait and see

Ya so baby is moving so much! Up and down up and down. Waving little fists bring hand near the mouth. I saw two perfect feet- Krishna patham truly. 

I am so  blessed:) 

Akshaya recited a poem to me!

Today on the phone Akshaya recited so excitedly to me a poem! Dedicated to me:) 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Honey is sweet

And so are you... Aatha! 

Aww!!! I'm touched! And feel so blessed! 

She didn't make it up of course- she learnt it in school but I'm delighted because I can hear her delight in having understood and recited the poem to me:) 

More beautiful than a rainbow

My daughter just spoke to me - she says she's made me card that she has painted so beautifully - when I told her I couldn't wait to see it she hastened to caution me.. " it's not that beautiful ok... Not like a rainbow!"

How could I tell her - that phrase itself is so beautiful! A similie so heartfelt! And of course the first thought in my head- she was my sweetest gift - indeed more beautiful than a rainbow! 

Thank you god for my daughter 

Thank you for my children! 

Surprise!

Hey.. What was a secret hope last week is now more likely a reality... I believe we are expecting our third baby!!!!

I am excited of course.. It was like a secret cherished hope I didn't dare think would come true- ashwin seemed such a fluke and we mattered so few times it didn't seem nec to take on any 'precautions' - but god has blessed us again and my heart feels full:)  

I am happy. I can tell Saro is happy too though a bit bewildered. Not sure how our parents will take it though... For one thing they both want their other children to have their first kids. 

For another , especially for my mum , another baby most probably means more work for her! How? I could work part time. We still have run. She can still go ahead to do her work she wants to half a day ? Yes? Or I might need to consider taking 1 year no pAy - at least let them know I'm thinking of theses things do she knows she's free to pursue her goals. 

Ethanai muthangall un kannathil

Ethanai muthangall un kannathil 

Ellai illa aanantham en nenjukul

Ethanai selvangal ennai sutri irrupinum 

En selva magan unnai pol varuma? 

Darling baby ashwin!

Darling baby Ashwin

You are nearly two

I have kissed your soft round cheeks

A thousand times this trip

& I can never get enough

You exclaim at this world

Everything is top news

"Red car! Blue car! Yellow car!"

" Roller coater!"

" Sam sheep can't sleep!"

Your baby piping voice

Rings clear in my ears. 

Each passing day is full day gone by

You grow and change

Minute to minute

Will you let me kiss you this much

When you are older? 

 - on the plane on the way back from our first family holiday in gold coast. May 5 2013. 

Gold coast holiday

The best time ever! Our first real family holiday- just Saro Ashwin Akshaya and me. So much quality time with them - saw theme parks thru new eyes. Akshaya and Ashwin both became so brave - going on merry go rounds bumper cars Choo Choo trains flying rockets and even a roller coaster . Met Dora and sponge bob and tweety bird and bugs bunny. Was a lovely holiday! 

Some highlights;

Appa! Roller coater! Moo-vie world.

Choru parupu again! 

All four sleeping on the same bed. 

Reading Dora pumpkin and hanuman 

Swimming pool

Sea - big wave! 

Eating noo noo every night! 

Pinching crocodile... Very bad!

Haha! In Australia for a photo moment with a baby fresh water crocodile and it tried to squirm away from us. Turns out ashwin was trying to pinch its spots and ridges and apparently it could feel his tiny baby fingers ! 

Keeper called out ' here comes the pincher' as he wandered by the area again! 

Akshaya stop crying!

Ashwin said that to his sister this morning when she was protesting about going to school - so cute! 

How does my baby grow?

I have a little chatterbox at home and he's super friendly! Goes up to everyone with 'uncle' ' Arun!' and tells them all the latest news! Train! Car! Red car! Aaya house! All at top volume:)

Stringing together words to form sentences and paras too-,Aatha giving. Cheecoob (cheese cube) stawbewy! Shouting! Akshaya beating. Naughty boy. Big hug! Donda lakka- Venda. Sand pit! Kutty hippo! Chaami kaapathu! Muthu mutha varathu lah! He likes to say daaling! My blessings both!

A lesson in parenting humility and respecting that every child is different

Yesterday Saro and I tried to force Akshaya to read!
Was so bad. Back of our minds we are thinking... Our friends kids her age can read we need to help her / push her! Not in so many words but truly I think these thoughts were there.
Coupled with her reluctance to read- she tries to guess/ remember the words! Or reads our lips and faces instead!

So we got impatient - were rough with her scolded her a bit- she cried face crumpled into tears and hurt too- I could see it! She was hurt she - we were making her feel we were disappointed and puzzled by her lack of reading skills!

What was happening? But then another idea came up along the way. Took a book she liked reading and was confident of - she wanted to write her own story using words from these books - that worked! I mean she can spell the words! Her spelling is good you know!
She's one of those children who can write before they can read and enjoys creatively expressing her thoughts rather than reading what's already written!
Then she re-read what she wrote- even then took some time but she did it!
Sigh- I kissed her so many times feeling thoroughly ashamed of myself- instead of tailoring things for her from the beginning I was trying to force her- who will love reading if they are forced to learn? Best part- I don't recall ever being forced to read! I just learnt- naturally- caught not taught!
Daughter teaching a mum who thinks she knows all!

I wonder too if she may be slightly dyslexic? Sometimes she reads words back to front- could've been because I started teaching her reading like that- group the back letters first then the front letters then put them together- or did she respond to that kind of teaching coz it appeals to her style? - I. E. mild dyslexia? It's not a common way to read I made it up- must go read up! Not fair to scream at her that she's not picking up something the way we see as being 'so obvious and easy' when perhaps she had different learning styles and needs.

Donda lakka

That's ashwin speak for 'don't like':)

So cute right! He says this when he doesnt want something or is not ready for it or has had too much.

Then when he's finished with the potty he 'll say 'done' ' done'

The other day Saro complained that he was itching all over and I rubbed his itchy spots on his hands. Suddenly a baby voice piped up - 'itchy itchy' and he scratched his own arm near his bcg mark! Trying to wrest attention away from daddy back to him!

Long time

Long time since I wrote about my darlings here
So what's been happening?
I finally gave some pics for printing.
We took our studio shot of ashwin my parents aaya and us as a family - photos are nice:)
Spectacular four generation photo in there.
Ashwin loves me and misses me- clings to me when I'm home- Aatha walk. Aatha walk! He loves to pull me to the room flop on the bed and lie on my stomach after I return from work.
Read book read book is a frequent refrain.
Both kids love the songs I make up. Boatman of Bihar is a huge hit with both when I brush their teeth! Last significant adventure was the boatman seeking treasure from the titanic ship at bottom of the ocean! He meets the giant squid and a huge octopus who tickles him uncontrollably.
Now we are in the sundarbans and I am introducing adventures from the hungry tide which I am totally I into! So far he has narrowly escaped a crocodile heard that he cannot say the name tiger for fear of inviting it and heard snatches of the bon bibi legend!

Back to the kids.

Akshaya gets real excited playing the upside world and Also created a really lovely make believe world with gold cats and silver dogs and tiny turtles!

Touch Me not

Akshaya:
I know why they are called touch me not... When you touch them they turn into knots!

Play Friday - dec7

Akshaya watched the fantastic mr fox in the morning and Ramayana in the evening! She liked both but enjoyed Ramayana more coz as you know she's in love with the epic at the moment.

Ashwin says switch on

My darling boy can indicate very clearly what he wants. Chwitchi on. Chwitchi off.

When he was younger he used to say very frequently , when he's happy, dikida dikida dikda! So cute! Now he only says it once in a while.

Then he can complain- Aatha beat. Appa beat. :) and cae bae for care bear. Rlock rock. do do for anything he wants us to do. Loves thristhi suthing!

Bum pain! Poor baby is having diarrhea now:(

He Can say share now! Initially he used to screech and demand "share! Share!" he of course wants everything Akshaya has. Now his tone is more gentle:)

And he says Kundu kathirika! Haha! It sounds like this: " kundathakatha"

Only doing my duty!

Sometimes I am truly dumbstruck at the things my daughter says. Yesterday I thanked her for helping me get everything ready for ponggal and she said... I'm only doing my duty!!!!!!!

Got it from the Ramayana but she has the uncanny ability to apply such a phrase in the right situation. U really didn't know what to say to her. Sometimes I gape in wonder - she is truly God's own special gift to us!

Akshaya's 4th birthday party- bird themed!

So... Went all out with a bird themed party for Akshaya! Choice of theme was hers . Did the themed invite. Best part of the day- making bird nests ;) kids did great! Second best- playing eagle and chicks- Akshaya's idea!

Then we had an almost impromptu show and tell segment - kids chose a bird flash card and talked about three interesting things about it. Pin the tail on the turkey and pass the penguin were the last two games. God fun generally:)

We baked her cake. Made and got friends to make way too much food;(