Akshaya is 6 today

And we are back at the play area we came to last year

She was looking forward to it so much but then finds our one year is long time and it's not quite as fun as she thought it would be:) 

But still having fun . 

Akshaya my darling

Looking at the posts - so many about ashwin and aish recently, so few about akshaya

She is my sweet sweet sweet heart
She calls me a couple of times a day while I'm at work
she helps me at home - cleaning, making the bed, wiping windows, fetching things, setting up her own cupboard
She's busy planning her 6th birthday party - the one she is the most involved in! mental note to self - make sure I celebrate 6th birthdays with the other two too - younger than that, no need to worry so much!
sweetheart is going to Primary one next year and she has such cute nerves about it - 

Ashwin updates

He hugged his sister and she just shrugged him off
He turns to me to say, Akshaya doesn't love me but I love her!
Wipe my tears aatha!
Properly, properly properly - my little OCD son!
A girl frowned at me at the playground - this affected him for a few days!

teaching him anger management now - his own code for me to remind him to calm down is" stop crying - then count to 20!)

have you tried asking him to stop crying when he is a rage? he really tries to stop! he stops, holds his breath, looks down with quivering lips - its a picture to melt hearts!
I love him so much.
I love them all so so so much.

I am so rough with the kids at times.
yesterday I splashed akshaya's face with cold water from the tap coz she was crying to brush her teeth, and I whacked Ashwin so hard coz he was crying at dinner time over some trivial thing.
horrible mummy.

I have anger management issues too, I see.

and such sensitive sweet children.

I sympathise with the lady in the story by Alfian Sa'at -

baby updates

The little sweetheart is my Happy Baby
She's happy to see me,
she picks up things so fast!
she can say baba, for bye bye
and Aatha, aatha, for ... aatha, of course

She points the remote control at the TV now, and takes a key to the door
she helps herself to her brother's fried fish in a bowl
and cries angrily if I put rice in my mouth instead of hers

she loves being tickled by saro and loves his massages too - as do the rest of us though I don't get his massages so much nowadays! three kutty competitors, how can I hope to do so?

she and ashwin and akshaya love to just sit by our window and watch the world go by, its a different view in the day and at night

Dapang kuthu

So .. In Pondicherry , Saro was dancing randomly to amuse aishu baby and she was giggling and gurgling - so I joined him to just cookie dancing- Ashwin was observing us thoughtfully , then he got up from the bed and got on the floor- all do thoughtful- I was sure he was going to tell us to stop coz it may have looked painful to him- our dancing- instead he started doing classic dappang kuthu dance too!!! Hahaha. Saro snd I burst out laughing which shocked him into stopping but I'll never forget that! It was serious and yet spontaneous - he jumped up and joined in the cookie dance! 

Ashwinisms

Okay he's entertaining us pretty much non stop! 

Yest night at the bathroom while waiting for the water to get warm enough to wash him he was holding his ... And told be - there's a ball! Hahaha!!! I had to tell him yes there is a ball ( actually 2 but I didn't expand on the details) and they it was normal:) 

Yest evening - his third day of drinking milk in a cup- he was taking ages and I tried to encourage him asking him- would you like a new cup for milk? He replied no I want my old bottle for milk!!!!

Day before morning - he went around collecting loose change around the house - he came to Saro who asked him where he got the money from. He answered- from Samy - and then cut in- must ask before taking ah! 

Haha! It's like he's saying I know what you are going to say I'll just say it myself! 

Last week- he burst into tears because he banged akshaya's head with the Gate and was not eager to say sorry. I was insisting- in the middle of his tears he commented in a self reflective moment  - I'm crying so much!!! 

In India - we lifted him to look at a pond in rameshwaram temple. He wanted to see it some more but we wanted to MBS on. Instead of accepting our decision, or protesting, he just walked around the wall certain there would be another way of viewing his pond with fish and true enough! That was a big chunk of the wall fallen down enough for him to see easily without us lifting him! Love that attitude! 

The milestone catch up post

Time has whizzed by! 

We went to India last month got back about 10 days ago. Aish was 8.5 months there and look at what she can do! 

She learnt to crawl, from slithering in her stomach. She's leant to pull herself up! And spouted three visible teeth! 

Woo hoo! 

Now at 9 month plus she crawls with ease pulls herself up constantly and even balances a few seconds on her own while standing - not holding onto anything. 

Yesterday she met the five pop up animals toy- boy was she pleased to see panda pop up at a press of a button! She exclaimed at it, gurgled about it to Akshaya and tried to swipe him back to sleep! 

She loves playing with Ashwin too. She was standing between my legs the other day and everytime she sees Ashwin she giggles and tries to scramble up on me. It was adorable! 

Aishwarya sits up!

Baby sat up today! 

She's babbling babbling ! 

She pulled herself forward to nearly under the table today! 

Ashwin leads the conversation

This morning Saro left before Ashwin woke up. 

First thing he said was: hey! Where is Appa? He's not here I think! 

Then, later, where is Appa . He didn't sleep with us. 

Conversation with Saro: 

Where did you go Appa ? 

I went out! 

What did you do? 

I went for a walk

What did you see? 

I saw.... 

We were thrilled!!!! 

learning to read

How do young people learn to read?

I don’t remember consciously learning to read – it was a magic that suddenly happened.

But for Akshaya, I am not waiting for the magic to happen on its own. I am pushing it – ‘teaching’ her to read.

hmm.. is that wise?

anyway, I saw the magic light her eyes up yesterday!

this story did not have a good start though.

Sunday night – I took out a phonics book and said, Akshaya, let’s read 1 page –

the one page had only 5 words that she had to read but she struggled, and cried and fought with me – I don’t love you, I won’t hug you, I won’t kiss you!

and I was – Akshaya – just read the words! what’s the letter sound? put them together! the longer you take the less time we have to read anjanaya! hahaha – so threatening right!

anyway, the last word she read was ‘up’. the full sentence was “ted and ned got up”. when I asked which was the word she enjoyed reading the most – it was ‘up’.

and I told myself, this cannot go on. this would kill her joy of reading – it was punishing, not magical.

then yesterday, I told her, let’s read any 5 two letter words – my idea was to start teaching with the use of roots and ends of words

she suggested reading the same book again –she had memorized her torturous sentence! haha –so anyway, while I got ready for bed, she started reading, and she experienced some magic by reading 3 words herself. ‘The ten hens...’

she got stuck at the next word – ‘led’

so I then taught her a ‘secret’

we broke up words into two parts

h + en =

t + en =

m + en =

b + en =

then we did ed

l + ed  =

okay stop.

e + n = en

e + d= ed

then,

l + ed = led

T + ed = ted

N + ed = Ned

B + ed = Bed

R + ed= Red

she got the magic! she then read that page and the next – she overcame a new word, ‘fed’ using her breaking up into two parts formula

it was beautiful!

she got stuck with not – we started with the secret again

n + ot = not

but she was too tired to do the pattern again for not. however she read ‘not’ and then went on to read 3 – 4pages!

so we will continue today or tomorrow

magic! this story will recall for her how she learnt to read!

she already knows sight words from school – that is just committing to memory really. 

How do you be a mother?

She has a headache. I ask her to drunk milk. She refuses. I insist. She grumpily sips some then says she just doesn't want it. So I'm left with it. 

She's eating - dinner- it's taking freaking ages. She's creating couch slides as she eats. She!: dressing with a scarf as she eats.i get madder and madder and yell at her. Spoiling g her day and mine. 

So how I do be a non nagging fun mum who plays with the kids 

Piano

I'm 

Can't even say it

Deep breath

I may be killing akshaya's interest in piano by being draconian 

What's making me draconian?

Many thought competing in my mind interfering with the teaching 

1. Class is starting soon we need to practice! 

2. Other kids practice without their parents nagging or practicing with them 

3. Is me knowing to play the piano interfering with her learning to play , ironically

4. Is she being forced to learn against her will? 

5. Will she ever learn if we are constantly swayed by her desire to stop learning things? - swimming Also stopped . Devaram stopped . 

6. If her practicing depends on my schedule to practice with her that's not sustainable. It's stressing me out in the midst of taking care of the three kids the house the new house cleaning the house work ...

7. Then how about when she starts school. If I am to help her with Sch work all this of my work will continue to interfere with things. 

8. Is she just too young. Should we wait till she's 7 or 8 to take up piano? 

Ashwin talks and competes

So Akshaya was lamenting the loss of a bracelet given to her by her friend Katrina... Suddenly Ashwin pipes up... Seems his friend Veronica gave him a bracelet too! Ha! Like real! He just said it coz he saw... Friend ... bracelet... Gets lots of attention! I must do it too! 

Llove to see his mind whirring away like that! 

Today morning, I was tempting him with the prospect of eating out, suggesting dosa... And he calls out, Komalas not Gokul! 

Many firsts

Today 5 sep marks a special day of firsts for my littld baby...

She kind of crawled today! Purposefully pulled herself forward to reach things! A joy to watch! 

She went to church today- novena church, then went to get her footprint taken- God's cutest treasure 

She also cried with stranger anxiety for the first rind today... Which makes me ridiculously pleased! Haha u like it that she knows me and wants to be near me! 

Aishu's dance video

This video makes me smile! It's been making my day all day for three days now. It's my tonic to get thru madness if

registration for lit symp 

Pity blogger doesn't allow videos

Acrostic poem part two

Akshaya darling

Kind always

Sweet and sensible 

Honest and huggable 

Always thinking of others 

You are my god send 

Angel of mine 

Ashwin baby

Sweet and sunny

Handsome and huggable 

Winsome 

Independent 

Naughty 

Round and cute

Adorable always

My little boy

Aishwarya sweetheart 

Impish smile 

Sweet and sunny

Huggable 

Wonderful baby 

Adorable 

Rosy and cute 

You are my sweet treasure

Always 

Acrostic poems

Adorable 

Important and impish

Sunny

Huggable

Wonderful

Awesome 

Round

You are so cute

Angel

Adorable

Sweet

Huggable

Winsome

Independent

Naughty

Round 

Amazing

Magical 

Adorable

Kind

Special

Honest

Altruistic

You are my gift 

Awesome

Roll over baby!

Roll over everyone here I come says baby roller Aishwarya! 

She's literally on a roll theses days. Gracefully artfully done 

Akshaya was a back crawler

Ashwin was a shuffler

This one is a roller! 

Love it! 

Sleepless nights again

Been up since 2.45 properly and even before that intermittently 

Sure way to fall sick

Must not get stressed take vitamins 

Sleep when sleep beckons 

Ashwins field trip excites me troubles me more than anything keep thinking must wake up wake him him up give him milk breakfast pak his bag! 

Butterfly biting my bum

Ashwin's alliteration! 

He was chasing a small yellow butterfly- shoo shoo... And it turned and flew towards him, sending him running - "Aatha Aatha the butterfly is going to bite my bum!!!!'"

So cute! 

Love my darling!

Every morning he comes to fall on me to say good morning. It's the highlight of both our mornings. Then he must wear akshaya's slippers and wish me bye bye at the lift. How I treasure theses rituals! 

Hour well spent?

I spent an hour at home today coaxing out of Akshaya why she was reluctant to go to school and why she doesn't like computer class 

Teacher may have said something mean to her - perceived as mean anyway, and turns out she lacks confidence in manuvering the mouse ! 

So told her a story about why it's better for us to forgive the teacher and spent time creating a poem on ms word and changing desktop themes with the mouse. Then helped wash Ashwin after big job

Then left home! I'm late for work but it feels like , hopefully, an hour well spent? 

The world of girls and helping one survive it

Saw cliques rolling eyes private conversations tit for tat session all unfold in 20 min at the playground yesterday 

Shocking! And I felt quite helpless- Akshaya met a friend who looked she wanted to help her but I think damaged her chances at making friends more.,

Akshaya being used as a tool really:( and she too- refusing to play catching  ! Only wants to run but does not want to be the catcher! Ha! 

Sigh. 

My sons first love

She is 13 years his senior and he calls her akka... But it's his first puppy love! Love for someone outside his immediate family!

He fell in love when he heard her sing the first day she was here. She started singing he just watched - his mouth open slightly fully concentrating 

After her second song he brought her chocolates 

Then he just kept asking - where are you annamayil akka? Come here! Dragging her off to read to him. 

Then he spent the whole afternoon with her at the temple playing pretend games 

Yesterday he spent 1 hour or more on the phone with her! 

She is an amazing 16 year old! She can hold a conversation with a 3 year old for so long! It's mutual adoration! 

So he said he's going to come to see her in a helicopter driven by his mum and dad. 

He told her about Barney and baby bop and about ladybugs and doctors and how everything is so funny! It was morning there but he couldn't get that - it's night! He insists! He jumps up and down up and down while talking to her. He initiated the idea of calling her yesterday and kept on asking. She calling him truly made his day! 

Tough being the eldest

I realize I may have unreasonable expectations of Akshaya coz she's the eldest of three. I tend to forget nevertheless she's only 5.5! Not even 6 years old!

I also let her get to me so easily- like about my cooking. She said she didn't want my chicken at macs without even trying and I got super upset - yelled at her made her cry a little

Thinking about it, can I blame her? Ask any kid at macs whose chicken she wants likely it will be macs chicken! Really must not take things personally! 

Part time Mother

anyone feel like me - a part time mother?
sigh.
Yesterday my son asked - Aatha, are you going to work? Don't go aatha, I need you.
My daughter, baby daughter, she cried as my helper pried her away from me to put her to bed

While I feel so loved, I also feel bad

This morning, I overheard the hubby singing I love you, You love me to my son in the morning, as I was getting ready in the shower - I want to be there to sing that to him too!

and what about daughter no 1? I feel I am neglecting her. I do.
I barely even hug her now when we sleep - coz baby keeps me by her side.
She is always so happy to be away from me, it hurts sometimes and yet I cannot blame her
today, she was reluctant to drink her milk - a regular morning feature - and I was getting snappy with her, telling her not to make an issue of an every morning deal - just get up, brush teeth and drink milk - don't make it as issue - not helpful. she cried. then along comes the hero hubby, the one who sings barney songs to the son in the morning, and cajoles her to drink by faking astonishment at how fast she can drink the milk,and voila, its done! she's drunk it in a blink of an eye, to a round of applause from the hubby, who even ropes in younger brother as part of the cheerleader squad.

Then she comes to me with pained expression and whiney voice - I feel sick aatha, I always feel sick when I drink the milk so fast
so I invite the whines, is that it?

anyways.. daddy is the good parent, I'm the bad part time parent :p

Aishwarya-

Aishwarya is the answer to our unarticulated prayer - not romantically it poetically put but the sentiment us try and powerful

Thank you god answering our unasked prayer - you know god what I mean. 

Please help us - guide us- in bringing up our three precious gems as you see them. Let them be giving and forgiving trusting leading beautiful individuals who help to make this earth a better place - just contributing to your plans in helping this world the people around them

Thank you god! 

Happy birthday Ashwin!

3 years ago, on this date, I was at the hospital, eagerly , excitedly, awaiting your arrival

40 weeks and two days - you were happy and snug inside me! Not showing any inclination to come out

19 July was the date then- doc agreed to give you a little push

A little push was all you needed

Out you came in an hour and a half

Sweet and cheery

Straight to drink milk

Round

Cute

Quick to screw up your whole face to cry 

Quick to break out in  the widest of smiles

And now you are three!

How did you get here? 

You sat up without rolling over - missed that milestone but caught up on the next

You learnt to say cheese and melt all our hearts

You crawled like a puppy - very fast and all over!

With your curly hair and kissable cheeks 

Baby Krishna crawling on stage 

You made up words to tell us things 

Lala and noo noo and nana

You still can't get R - it's baby language still!!

You negotiate your way - just one more time Aatha, one last time Appa! 

You pull at our heart strings - lie down with me Aatha, can i hug you Appa? 

You fight with your big sister but miss her the instant she's not here

You konji your baby sister - bunga bunga baby! 

You are the joy of our life darling baby Ashwin

You are still and always will be our sweet baby! 

Happy birthday my love! 

May God bless you always! 

Missing Akshaya

I miss Akshaya everytime she's not here:( 

Baby touch

There are few things so magical as a baby suddenly holding onto your finger! 

One long night

3 am. Aishu is running a temp and has no voice- so hoarse! Cough is painful even crying is painful- been trying to sleep all night - mon stop feeding from 10-12 then some rocking and walking then paracetamol and resting now she's trying to sleep in her rocker  

The bully emerges

Such voices in my head self recriminating

I can't manage three kids on my own even with helper. I need three adults fur three kids .

I compare myself with Sita and feel ashamed all the time. She does three solo. Im useless

Day started well and went on well till lunch time which finished early- by 2. Ash even ate egg. Since then it's been downhill past three hours. 

3 bad hours makes me feel like crap. 

Tried to make them sleep and failed. Wanted to spend time playing with then but ashwin so clearly needed sleep he became so cranky. he threw up all of milk and lunch. Nothing in there but two slices of bread now.?

Whose fault? Mine. - just poor judgement. 

Now it's five and he's sleeping. Going to be tough on Saro and ashwin too later tonight. Sigh. Nvm I'll wake him up at 6. 

Recognize my danger buttons: crying in kids. Meals. So must watch out before situation goes out of control

Some self soothing and analyzing now. 

Don't ever compare yourself with others. Only yourself. Same rule applies in school and at home. 

Everyone has bad days bad few hours. 

God is not keeping a score to punish. He wants us all to learn and grow and he loves us

It's okay to be firm with kids. They need it sometimes. Doesn't mean you love them less. They know it too. 

Deal with each day bit by bit. Do not over plan or fret so much about meeting schedules. 

Wake him up at 6 leave for hosp. Return by 8.30. Akshaya to bed first. Simple. 

I can't put both older kids to bed at the same time. I must be firm about that. 

Simple special sat-24 may

Ashwin said pick upping

Akshaya's first tooth fell off in the middle of aparty game! 

Rajee may  have labour induced tomorrow morning

My son

Ah my son! 

So charming to charm

So delightful to delight! 

Gets away with everything

With this cute smile and earnest ways

My sweet son

My life

Daughters are a blessing and mums can be monsters!

Yes. Today my daughter said she's sad I'm going back to work tomorrow 

And I yelled, pushed and scared her- just coz she cried and whined about drinking milk. I scare myself! 

I think she's incredibly brave though. At point she yelled back at - don't shout at me i didn't even say anything you are scaring me!

And another time i asked her why she's crying and she said I don't like you! I don't like you at all! 

The thoughts racing through my mind: 

No wonder she prefers my mum to me

I'm turning her against me

Will this make her a rebel 

To love and hold a baby

What is it to love and hold a baby? 

Indescribable! 

A feeling of love happiness contentment a feeling of being loved enough to have this baby to hold and love

A cuddly warm safe bundle

To kiss And konji

Be amazed by

God's most treasured gift 

Kanna's baby!

Kanna's daughter is coming soon! Deepa Lakshmi cousin to Aishwarya Lakshmi! 

Any day now. 

I must call my boss and tell him I will come back depending on birth or brother's baby! 

Milk milk milk

Am pumping and pumping in prep for work! 

Yesterday was at the consultant again for toshured boob- means milk ducts blocked and gross tunnels pop up on breast! 

Thank god lactation consultant helped me clear it though it was overtime! 

Aishu starts moving around

Exactly last week thurs- Akshaya learned to flip herself onto her tummy! 

Doesn't do it very consciously and often yet , often turns to her side 

She's figured out the cutest way to move around yet though! Legs fly up 90 degrees. They Come down hard at an angle and she's moved . Up again down again moved! Chop chop chop shes turned 90 degrees. Chop cho chop she's turned 180 degrees! It was hilarious watching her at 2 am move around In her sleep! 

Nails the colour of the sea and other things Akshaya says

She's poetic! She told me the other day-, a few days after my pedicure, that she likes my nails/ they were the colour f the sea.,ever since them I love my mail colour even more! 

Yesterday she berated me that I'm not setting a good example for something or the other

She warned Saro not to flick ashwin on his lips for being rude coz he'll just hit her  learning from Saro

She told me and Saro yesterday- Dont waste time talk to each other! You want to buy a house right, so talk! 

Milestone check for babies 1,2 and 3!

Aish turned over by herself! 

Ashwin ran to me Saying I made you a card! 

Akshaya reproached me for telling at her before giving her a chance to speak! 

Saro's birthday

My sweet daughter suggested we go out for his birthday! And that we go to a place he likes! So sweet! For 10 years now we haven't done anything like that can't think why not!!

So we went out. Raffles place a metal swing them Amk mp kio park and Saro and ash went to KFC - little Akshaya didn't join us though:( she left for the far more alluring company of her grandparents! 

Had a nice  unexpected party forvsaro the day before. Baked a vanilla cake made briyani had devi Sath and my parents over:) 

Ai oi dai go away

Ashwins string of 'bad' words! The first frustration he encounters all these words rush out!!! Such a challenge to get him to understand he can't and shouldn't say these things but calmly explain what he wants! Hope this phase passes quickly! He doesn't negotiate as much anymore:( now taken to bullying his want through things. 

Toddler ashwin

Close to 5 am- I can hear my son crying for me-it's heart breaking:( I'm here feeding baby and can't go to him.. If I were to go to him Akshaya would join us there in a few minutes and both would fight if a stray arm or leg touched the other or if they discover the other hugging me! Sigh! 

I want to be there for my kids buy don't know how sometimes. 

Taking stock

K Kids are not well after a power packed weekend. Picnic with water play on fri sleepover for akshaya on sat and swimming at saro's athai's place on sun. Result- both down with flu and sore throats on mon! 

Given the situation here's the good about yesterday: 

Both slept . They ate. 

I managed to buy some things for them like honey and fish and have them to eat these. All this should court too:) 

Oh I also didn't yell at the kids or make them cry!  Nowadays I take that as a plus point! 

Of the tons of things I wanted to do but didnt;

- practice piano, painting, Tamil writing... I should plan to do less then can be happier! 

Had a super fun weekend but now akshaya is not well:(

What a pleasant day

At saro's aunts house now. Kids all sleeping after a day of great fun

Akshaya ashwin and neha- a new friend for. Akshaya:) swimming for more than an hour and Now knocked out flat. I should have out akshaya to bed an hour earlier! 

Played UNO and memory game with neha and her parents just now. Pretty fun! 

Ash makes us laugh

He takes this plastic crown and says the majecsty hurt me! 

He is rude, then rushes to us to tell tales on himself! I said go away. I said Ai! 

Nearly forgot baby today!

As we were leaving sendhil Kavitha 's house, got into lift without baby!!!! Feel really bad. 

What is unconditional love?

The love a two and a half year toddler has for his mother

Where she is his whole world and for him

Heaven is to sit in her lap while she clears books and

Lie on her lap as she feeds the other baby, where the 

Best part of the day is when she comes to pick him up from school and

Devastation is when she says he has to go to bed but she won't be putting him to bed, where

Dread is that she leaves him behind to go out to work and 

Delight is being with her in the same room

The love my son has for me... I am blessed beyond words and worlds! 

Ashwin stopped crying abt Sch

Ashwin stopped crying about going to school this week;) he waves bye to me cheerfully and heads to class

I wonder sometimes if we did wrong by akshaya-,putting her in childcare the whole day when we could have done a two hour thing. 

We were so concerned about getting a good place , good quality of spoken English - apple tree was so bad that we went the other extreme to Mmi.

I worry she seems so busy! 9-5 school days then various enrichment after - I'm almost looking forward to primary school coz of the shorter hours. 

We Can Only pray to god for guidance. I pray she gets into a good school . It could shape her life in someways . 

So many flitting thoughts....

I look at aishu and wonder" will you live me too, the way your brother and sister do?"

I look at akshaya and ashwin and think" how blessed am I! " 

My children my life

Could write a book about ashwins antics! He goes through such comical phases . 

Now it's all about closing doors and switching lights on and off. He shuts doors 50 times a day! 

Akshaya- my ray of sunlight shining thru dark clouds

My sweetest darling akshaya! I was going about cuckoo- was hungry and irritable and she puts things in perspective with a joke- I said there was food all over the house and she said the house must be happy! 

Uses similes beautifull

Rajee will shine like the sun upon seeing the surprise decorations at home! 

Then she will be frozen like ice in surprise! 

Break heart break

Ashwin is crying in school and my heart is breaking. I want to run to him and hug him but as my mum says he needs to grow up. 

He didn't cry the first two days. Thought he'd be fine. But but but.. I scolded him just before we left - that's my fault. His mood was already spoilt.

Will do my best to cheer him about school every morning and be peacable.  

Break heart break

Ashwin is crying in school and my heart is breaking. I want to run to him and hug him but as my mum says he needs to grow up. 

He didn't cry the first two days. Thought he'd be fine. But but but.. I scolded him just before we left - that's my fault. His mood was already spoilt.

Will do my best to cheer him about school every morning and be peacable.  

Precious memories

Ashwin sees a star as we go night shopping and exclaims - there's only one star left in the sky Aatha! 

Ashwin sits on the ground - I get mad And say he can't- he purrs - "I'm a car! I can sit in the ground!" 

Bless him for his ability to see turn a potentially volatile situation to a cheery one! 

One special memory

I was feeding Aishwarya on my feeding pillow in the room. Ashwin came in to have his milk. He asked me - Aatha can I lie on your lap? 

So there I was- one baby in my lap in the pillow drinking milk from me, another sweet toddler lying on my lap drinking milk from his bottle;) bliss! And I am so very blessed! 

First day of school for ashwin

Ashwin is at creative twinkles now. First day at school. New uniform:) 

First day is all in mandarin though. But teachers seem kind.sitting with him at a table. Doing a jigsaw with him. Four teachers in the class of about twelve kids. When I walked in they were playing with some blocks. 

Ashwin's got his mouth open a little with a tiny frown creasing his eyebrows. Sign of concentration! 

Bliss

I bend over reading a book with a piece of chocolate in my hands. I feel big eyes on me and a reassuring warm weight on my legs. I turn from my pages and I see... My two month old baby looking at me , deeply with those beautiful eyes, and my 2 and 1/2 year old son resting on my leg! 

Sisterly love

So I asked akshaya yesterday how she likes having a sister. She told me its nice but also boring! Haha! Seems she can't wait for baby sister to grow up a little so she can take her with her to the playground and go down the slide! 

But currently what she loves about having a baby sister is that she can hug her and cuddle her:) 

Chup Chup Aishwarya

I woke up to the sound of chup chupping at 4  am last night- it was baby aish chupping on her fist! Such a delightful sound! 

Also little princess has. Started moving in her sleep- I found her arm overhanging the bed on the faraway tree book when I awoke in the morning. 

Conception dates

Akshaya- 10 April 2008

Ashwin- 10 October 2010

Aishwarya- 8 may 2013 

Friday 28 mar- the good and the bad

The bad first- I hit both akshaya and ashwin :( 

When both were scared- now isn't that extra mean? They are only 2.5 and 5! 

Akshaya- terrorized by me into drinking milk

Ashwin- ha! He jumped and his foot accidentally bumped Aishwarya on the head while she was feeding. He knew he did wrong and looked at me with large eyes. When j told him off he yelled go away-it was defensive reflex. But it got me mad and i hit him and he bawled and that set off Aishwarya! Sigh. 

The good now

I fit in my old jeans! 

I found oolong tea

Best things about being a mum

I really thought this yesterday! 

Being a mum means-sitting through all three kids release of poo! Ha- morning was with baby- feeding her and feeling her release her big job, Ft was with ashwin - in the middle of lunch he rushed off to bring his potty to the room for big job , and evening was with akshaya at the public toilet in the library! 

Lesson in perspective

Kids teach us perspective and the way to see the world - they teach us by putting themselves on the line - for they stand to get hurt, to have their spirits crushed - as we respond to them and their words and actions - un pre meditated - straight from their being 

Ashwin sells ice cream

So little boy ashwin tries selling ice cream to me every morning. Today he came by and asked me what Ice cream I wanted- told him raspberry. He handed it to me- all pretend of course. I pretended to put the ice cream in my mouth when he suddenly remembered he hadn't collected money from me! So he came to my mouth and tried to take out the ice cream saying 1 dollar Aatha. I gave him the pretend dollar then he put the ice cream back in my mouth! 

Bf woes

Beast feeding is supposed to a pleasurable bonding activity

But here I am wincing as she suckles sore nipples blocked ducts this is just pain

Morning was spent with husband grasping and squeezing and milk was spraying - paal abishegam he says - there I was feeling blessed to have a hubby who could inflict such pain! But it's true- without that it would have become unbearable

Feel a fever coming on

Hope this passes soon! 

Aishu baby growth chart

At birth : 2.89 kg

1 week old: 3.05kg

1 month old: 4.83kg

3 months old: 6.07 kg

5.5 months old 7.42 kg

Aishu baby

Sleepy head falls asleep while feeding:) and gets so mad when feeding is interrupted or delayed 

Screws up her face like ashwin used to- so charming melts the heart! 

I love my children

I love my three little darlings!
they just fill my heart with joy
one sulks a bit but accedes to most things for which i love her

one doesnt do what we want unless he wants it to, but he smiles and charms his way through it all!

my littlest one - I guess I'll find out soon enough)

Spray away!

Om spraying the room even as I speak- milk lumps;( 

Bootiful no more

Ashwin's mazhalai mozhi is quick vanishing;( 

He says beautiful now not bootiful

Rice not lala

Carry me not nana

Too fast he'd growing! 

Aishu's first tentative smiles

Yesterday she flashed me a rare tentative smile. Could have been Z fluke but then she flashed another sweet smile at my mum too! 

This morning she was so cheerful when I wished her good morning! Close to smiled or laughed at me 

That's her thoughtful look this morning! Seems so meaningful! 

Then... I just looked at her and these words came to mind

"I love you so much my darling! " 

Ash says I love you Aishwarya!

Yesterday my little boy told his sister he loves her! Priceless moment! 

And he shakes the rattle for her ad Toa her not to be sad Aatha will give her milk' 

Only thing- when I'm feeding her he likes to ask me ' is thangachi papa kicking Aatha?' haha.  Does it to be cheeky coz he knows I'm giving her milk! 

Cuddly Aishwarya

Baby doll is going to be one month old tomorrow! How time flies! I love cuddling her on my chest- such a calm warm feeling! 

Charming ashwin!

Saro says he's a charmer! And he is. He has a lilting voice that melts your heart when he asks you things. 

He can't take it if we say Tsk Tsk to him. He bursts into tears and asks 'why do you do that?'

After his recent hernia opp doc has said no jumping or running for about a month

When he forgets and runs we say ashwin! No running! And he responds wide eyed saying I'm not running- and he slows to a slow motion walk! If he's jumping and we stop him him he says I'm not jumping! I'm going lound and lound! Coz he can't say 'r'! 

He loves music/ can just sit and listen to it for ages:) 

He likes particular songs on the car radio

He loves playing the piano with me- dots and requests for rhyme after rhyme! Clamors for his turn with the music teacher and when I practice with akshaya. Ironically she can't stand piano practice! Likes class bit not practicing. 

He has specific complicated bed time routines. Involves reading all books in sight- so we gotta only take in 3 at most! Getting ready for bed then sitting up asking for milk and puts on pampers them getting ready for bed and wakes up again asking off potty and the. Finally really getting down to bed

Saro has been putting him to bed this past month- ever since Aishwarya came along! 

Aish me and akshaya go to bed together while the other two take the master bedroom. Nice arrangement actually - kind of worked out naturally; 

Diff children diff strengths

Akshaya is my sensitive child- sensitive to the moods of other , lots of empathy , sometimes lacks confidence 

Ashwin is my resilient one- finds ways to make things work natural negotiater 

So sweet the two! Akshaya saw me lose my temper with ashwin and then later when I was discussing with my mum how to discipline ashwin more - she gently offered a suggestion- Aatha maybe you can eat dinner around 7 and then when you feed ashwin at 7.30 you won't feel like hitting him- she didn't say hitting she gestured :) I kinda whacked him on his legs for spitting dosai.,

Akshaya's song: round and round the field

Round and round the field (x3) 

Oh how I like to run

Round and round the field! (x2)

Oh how more than anything I like to run round and round the field! 

Baby ashwin

Sigh he's been I'll quite a bit? 

Fever at 8 mth- high fever

Hfmd twice

Hernia 

Ridiculous 2 mth long cold at age 2.5 

Hope it ends and he's all well:) 

Aish baby sleeping

So far no thottil for her. 

Everyone being careful not to carry her for too long! We are trying to get her to fall asleep on her own! Hehe! 

Primary school for akshaya

How to decide which school to ballot for? Rosyth or hougang? 

Which is our back up school? 

Zhong hua or Punggol primary

What about our lady of nativity and other such convents? 

Aishu's first colick attack

On her 16th day she got her first bout of colick. ;( akshaya had hers in day 7. Ashwin had his early too. Baby Aish only now. But it looked so painful. I'm kicking myself for greedily gobbling potatoes yesterday when I knew I shouldn't be doing so. Sigh. No more potatoes for me then! 

Brocoli is fine. Little cabbage is fine too. But no potatoes!!!

Ashwin baby surgery

Sigh. Ashwin had his hernia operation two days ago. Yesterday he was in pain feverish and so quiet. Too much tv and screen time for him already. Plus too many meds. He tells me tearfully " I don't want medicine Aatha! " heart breaking. 

Punniyasaam

Yesterday we did the punniyasanm Pooja for baby Aishwarya. She was a darling throughout the function. Awake and quiet craning her neck to hear the iyer singing. We named her too- Aishwarya and lakshmi! Very nice. She wore a beautiful orange and red paavadai / presents from her grandparents and a beautiful chain from them too. Bangles and anklets from appatha and iya. 

Ashwin the negotiator!

My darling son! 

When he doesn't get something he wants- he doesn't burst out crying or throw a tantrum straight away. Instead he negotiates in his sweet lilting voice and it's very very hard not to give in! 

He asked me - at 11pm- to rearrange some random shapes to form a ship. It was- to me- a random request and I asked him 'how can I do that I can't ' he replied ' you can try?' in a sweet voice and of course I had to try! 

When he wants to watch a programme or use the iPad he asks once- if we say. I he starts bargaining- how many minutes Aatha? How many programmed Aatha? Only one! 

He'll go a long way this fellow! 

Kids

I'm missing akshaya. Been putting her to bed for 2 weeks now. Last night she chose to sleep with my mum. I'm praying she stays well and healthy. don't want her falling sick. 

On the upside- I managed to put ashwin to bed instead! He 's missing me I can tell. Keeps telling me ' hug me Aatha' 

I miss my darling

I hope in 10 days or so we can all sleep together again in one room! 

Ashwin was saying he was scared and I was telling him not to worry pillayar and murugan are with us- inside our hearts and will protect us. He checked inside his shirt and asked to out on the light so he could see them:)

Such precocious innocence! 

Aishwarya on day 5

Her Umblical cord fell off yesterday - fastest ever! Everything is speedy with little aish! 

Her birth weight was 2.89 -she lost a bot to 2.65 then gained another .1 so at discharge time she was 2.75. Yesterday's visit she was 2.92- so back to weight at birth. 

50 cm- as tall as ashwin on birth. Akshaya was 53 cm. other details I can't quite tell

Weight wise- akshaya 3.1, ashwin 3 Aishwarya 2.9:) 

My weight gain: 13 kg with akshaya 12 kg with ashwin and 11.8 kg with Aishwarya 

Akshaya's note to Aishwarya on day 5

I love you Aishwarya. 

You are the sweetest baby in the world! 

The whole world loves you! 

When you are four years old I'm going to draw hearts for you. I will colour the sides and write the word 'love' in the center. 

I love you little Aishwarya 

My heart is full of love for you! 

You are going to grow very quickly 

My heart is full of love for you. 

Baby aish

My sweet baby is here! 

Aishwarya

Aishwarya Kalyani 

Aishwarya @ Lakshmi 

These were the names we were thinking of and the choice is number 3:) 

Aishwarya Saravanan - another name: lakshmi! I am happy:) 

My mothers name:) 

Also possibly Deivanai. Sato's great grand mother:) 

Ah well:) 

Our aishwarya is amazing:) small cute round face - reminds me a bit of a tomato! Haha! Must feed her and fatten her up. 

Love her:) my bringer of joy:) my little surprise gift fromgod! 

Saro and I are missing our kutty babies at home too. 

Baby Aishwarya is here!!!! And what an entrance!

Baby Aishwarya is here! 

Ht: 50 cm

Wt: 2.89 kg

Small sweet and cute! 

So peaceful now - her entrance was amazing!

Labour pains started at 1.35 am at home and she was born at 2.46 am at the hospital! A &E! 

Pains came in hard and fast the minute we left home- first long wave was under the block - I clutched onto my dad for the wave to pass. 

Apparently just before that Saro had wanted to ask my dad to stay home no need to trouble him!!! Shows how little grasp we had on the gravity of the situation! 

In the car the contractions came again. As we passed the Chinese temple I remembered thinking if only the hospital were this near! Haha! That was like 2 min from my home! 

I called the hosp again asked them to prep the water birth coz I was thinking I may not have time to make use of the water birth facilities if they only set it up after I came in. Okay so some of the gravitas was finally sinking in- but not to the full extent yet! That was when we were entering cte. 

Woa pains came in wave after wave after that. Couldn't record contractions on my contractions timer anymore. Was all I could do to just stay calm. I asked my dad to rub my back - he kept going for my bag haha! I gave one quite extreme scream which sent my dad and Saro panicking- Saro was swerving a bit - Appa said hang on almost there- it was cairnhill! That wasnt nearly there!!!!! That was far! Saro reminded me to breathe in and out and I did- breathe in and out and focus on my happy picture in my mind- of ashwin and Saro on one hammock and akshaya in another hammock and me rocking on yet another - backdrop of the sea... Helped calm me but pains were intense! 

I kept saying I feel like going to the toilet. Then I peed- or so I though but I guess now my water bag broke then. 

Then a few more times I yelled I need to go to the toilet. Saro knew that meant baby  was coming but he didn't say anything to me just that it was ok. Haha I thought that was permission to soil my pants ! Appa kept saying hold it hold it. 

Saro them said we are very near and we were - I could see the hospital across the expressway - such relief. Saro had been speeding and all sorts of thoughts had been running in my mind- what if police stopped us. Thank god no accident. Etc. 

Then I saw north buona vista and south buona vista exit. As we took the exit I pushed - lurched up practically standing in car - either bowels or baby! - and it felt so heavy I thought it was baby!!!! I told them - baby is here . Baby is here. Dad told Saro to beat the red light but thank god Saro kept his head. Cars were bearing down on us! i said no he can't go! Haha! Then no cars one side dad said go again but Saro kept watch for traffic on the other side- finally he beat the light - when it was safe:) and told me we are going straight to emergency - I was trying to direct him! Haha! Next turn I said. Saro had to reverse a bit to get into the turning. Dad jumped out. I lay down across the seat saying baby is here. Saro had drive down a bit more I think to ambulance stopping area. No stretcher in first stop! They brought a stretcher out. Saro said  -i think she's delivering! something like that- they asked me if I could stand- I could - I just kept repeating I think baby is here. When I stood and felt that weight I knew it was really too heavy for poop!!! Oh man. It didn't even occur to me to worry about lack of crying of baby etc. 

I got on the stretcher- they pushed me in- their faces told me they understood the seriousness! That was a relief. It was good there was no queue nothing at a and e! Inside they told Saro no time to go to delivery suite. They announced to a and e- deliver here! They wheeled me In- this doc came in and baby was born in 5 min! Really head and shoulders had already emerged in car in my pants!!!! Rest of baby came with one push ! Baby cried! And there I saw my darling Aishwarya! I kept saying I want my husband to cut the cord but they ignored me! Cord blood couldn't be collected either. At a and e no baby weighing machine nothing. So they just checked baby a bit and gave her to me for skin to skin contact. Gynae came in by then helped deliver the placenta- painful ! Haha! Then Saro came in saw our baby. 

What a delivery what an entrance! Saro accompanied baby up to delivery suite to be cleaned and weighed while I stayed down at a and e awhile more. 

When I went up I saw my dad- he said he has seen his granddaughter. Apparently the nurse pushing her up told my dad here's your granddaughter who came flying in! 

By gods grace truly everything went ok. I breastfed baby while they stitched up a small tear- that was so painful I couldn't understand it till they told me that I'm my previous pregnancies my epidural had masked everything- I hadn't even known this part would hurt! I calmed down after that and let the doc get on with it. 

Well so that was it! My birth story!!! 

My Aatha my Aatha!

That's my sweet ashwin! Today he told me again I look pretty;) 

Sweet darling! Have I mentioned his role playing? I'm Dora and he is boots so he hugged me this morning saying I love you so much Dora! 

He likes to say in a sing song voice- I'm not talking to you anymore! Hehe! 

Aatha you are so beautiful!

Those were my son's words to me on sun morning as I was getting ready for the big move part 3- moving to my mums house to await baby no 3:) 

Sweetest praise in the world! 

Then he likes to pretend play now. So often I am Dora and he is boots and he just loves to cuddle in my arms. Pure bliss 

Two weeks without runaa

Onto week 3 now. 

Had a blast of a birthday party

Did some painting, printing,  bead work, foam stitching, dress set up for a paper doll, cookie baking , reading , playground time, sand fun, macdonalds dinner, jigsaw fun, christmas parties, Pizza making 

And some organizing: art cupboard documents cupboard dining table balcony books in hall and kids room , and some clearing in last room. 

Not bad ya!