Sunday, July 14, 2019

Ashwin again

MY sweet son

He took 70 dollars from his money box to popular to buy himself a book. Dodnt ask us nothing. Just did it . His own money part is good. Didnt ask his grandparents to buy it. But still. That much of money casually taken.

Later that evening he cut his own hair.
We found out the next day when the sink was full of hair. He thought his sister told us! I asked to clear put the evidence properly the next time. Apparently he did try.

Next day he cut it again!quite horribly too.
So took him to the barber and he looked like a bald eagle. Serves him right but my heart ached anyway. A previous post talks about my conflicted feelings about that.

Yesterday I have three 3 dollars to spend on a used book. He picked up an abridged version of Anne Frank and that started so many questions. Hes brilliant. He made the kink between th dr Seuss  book about yellownstars on thars with the Jewish yellow stars sewn on clothes and noted the reversal. That's some high level processing.

He talked about age of prime minister.  And how hes above 70. And checked how old iyya was. An that hes not 70 yet. Coz hes not looking forward to the day when...

Such a deep thinker he is.

And my baby. Always in support of her brother
She will fight with him but if i scold him she will cry first. And when she saw how upset he was about his hair she said she wished she was in p2 and in all of his classes so she could keep him company and she wouldn't feel bad about his hair
She is just growing out her hair too see.

Update update
My sweet son wrote me a note! Saying thank you for comforting me when I am scared and making me go to places. I love you 

My hear is singing! Such a balm. When I was worried about what I was doing and whether I was doing right he comes here with all the sweetness of an eight year old and  sets things right
I love him!

Monday, July 1, 2019

Refuge

When your kids come to you
In the middle of the night
Unable to sleep
Haunted by nightmares a persistent cough unnamed fears

What can you do but comfort them' get them meds' water' blankets' lie beside them' draw on their backs

Like a tree that spreads its branches wide to provide refuge for birds and bees
A mother opens her arms to her little children

Aishu sweetheart

My baby went for abacus class
Teacher offered her sweets and she turned them coz "theybhave gelatin". Even though o was tempted aatha she tells me!

I got super angry a bit crazy the other day and slapped ashin hard
Later I found aishu crying
She asked why did you slap him
I hugged her said I shouldn't have

Later after feeding the kids saro came in and I started crying. Angry with him and myself and generally fellong overwhelmed. The kids saw

Layer my baby came in closed the door and told me quietly and kindly
Later when we go to temple you can pray to God to help you be a better mother and to control your strength with your children

Like God talking to me!

Aishu poem 2

Do you know why
I like to stay up till 12
Because
I dont want any insect bites
On my limbs and lungs

Aishu poem

I never wash my hands
I only wash my knees and mouth
I wash my knees till they are silky
Till they fall off

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