akshaya

I write so often about ashwin. aishu. not as much about my akshaya
she is my gem.
and she's been unwell. and I was sonafraid. I was crying at the temple. at the office. sometimes takes a jolt of fear to appreciate people for who they are and what they mean to us.
she is everything to me. each of my kids is. my husband is. sounds selfish but it's true. nothing else matters to me next to them. my parents.
also god. I need to pray. really pray. know god. be with him as one. to go to the temple when one is scared or sad is not wrong of course. you go to those you love and feel sheltered with when scared or sad. just don't want to you go then you know?

I feel awfil. why didn't i check her stools earlier

ashwin on perspectives

aatha
Singapore seems very big even though it's just a dot
although it's just a dot for it seems as big as the universe
for ants my hand is like the universe

later that night..aatha do you think robbers lock their doors at night?

What a question I just love the way he think his mind works. it's a gift to be able to speak with him and learn more. really wonderful.

earlier on the day when he heard me paying for two special sangeetham classes with a maestro singer he turned sullen. I asked him what happened he said i just want to be alone for awhile. okay.
when we got to the car he said you can talk to me now if you want. okay!haha.
why were you upset just now.
because I don't want to go for classes on Saturdays and Sundays

this is something he's very particular ablut. he likes having at least one weekend day just stretch out with nothing on and he gets very grumpy about classes on both days. very consistent. so I explained it was just this one weekend but I realised I hadn't checked in with him before signing him up!

aishu again

today saro asked who wants to come get their vitamins.
she answered appa no one wants to have their vitamins

talking about colours with the kids

for me fear is colourless
because my mind goes blank and I can't think of anything to say - ashwin

sadness is black and grey for me because these are dark colours
and when you mix black and white you get spooky grey which makes grey the colour of fear

red is the colour of pain because blood is red and when I think of my friend leaving me alone to go to Australia my heart fills with blood.

and when she thinks if her friend going away how do you think she feels knowing she has no more friends?

and how do you think i would feel if she knew her mother would take her to meet her friend in Australia? everything will be happy and yellow!

ashwin says purple is sometimes sad sometimes happy because it's both light and dark.

aishu went in and on so poetically and dramatically about red. I reminded her red is also for gearts. she says my heart fills with red in loveness!

I like that word!

ashwin sings at n3 cluster

ashwin is representing his school in a cluster competition singing a duet with his friend Lavithran. and I'm so proud of him haha!
he's so driven so passionate and loves singing . he's a gem.
he sang at the kalai nigalchi too. and did well despite the crowd making so much of noise.
earlier this year he represented the school in another competition. thank you for for your grace and blessings