love

I could fill my days 

just gazing on your face 

watching you read,

listening to your prattle. 

I take in every detail,

the way your eyes get all big

and then narrow in a flash,

your face a moving cinema reel, 

expressions flitting across in rapid succession, 

the art with which you roll your eyes 

as you grow from 6 to 7

and become all knowing 

yet still so endearing.

I cannot gaze on you enough, 

cannot thank God enough 

for the gift of you.

Everytime your face crumples,

I long to rush to your aid, 

brandishing a sword 

to cut away the elements that hurt you in any way, 

be it homework or a bully. 

I have to control my impulses,

tell myself to breathe 

before I ask you to breathe, 

to equip you to fight your own battles.

It's hard, when all I want

is to gather you into my arms 

and hold you there,

close to my beating heart.

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I could fill my days 

bottom to top

just gazing on your face 

watching you read

listen to your prattle. 

I take in every detail 

like I'm starved 

noting your features and how they shift

the way your eyes get all big and then narrow in a flash 

your face a moving cinema, expressions flitting across in rapid succession 

and the art with which you roll your eyes as you grow from 6 to 7 and become all knowing yet sweet

I cannot gaze on you enough 

cannot thank god enough for the gift of you

everytime your face crumples into tears i long to ride to your aid,  brandishing a sword to cut away the elements that make you cry, be it homework or a bully. 

I have to control my impulses,tell myself to breathe before I tell you to breathe and equip you to fight your own battles.

its hard when all i want is to gather you into my arms and hold  you there, close to my beating heart 

2 random memories

2 random memories popped into my head just now

we saw two teenagers with their puppies, gently taking care of them. 

that recalled to me a video I saw earlier where 2 bug dogs go absolutely frantic when they see their owner jump into a lake, they go a bit mad then jump in after him to save him. 

this then led me to a memory I hold so dear. we were Madurai. near a car park or something in the centre of a busy busy road. Ashwin stepped out of the narrow line we were staying to and aishu started yelling, her voice frantic, Anna Anna! looking at possible oncoming cars and her brother in their way (at least to her mind). he sushed her, annoyed at the attention she was drawing to them. then she started saying, aatha, Anna! drawing my attention to the peril faced by her brother, appealing to me to save him, heedless of his annoyance at her. such pure unconditional protective love.  

then another memory.  thai I've written about but still. the one where I ask ashwin to put his sister to bed as I was not in a good mood and next day I praise him and he says. ya. I think I will stay single!!!!!