depression diaries 11

it's been a while since I wrote

I foolishly thought since we made the decision to stop school she'd feel better

but she still feels heavy

and no wonder

no school but still exams and tests

who wouldn't be anxious.

so here's the plan for now

1. every day spend conscious time to build energy.  I.e. deep breathing meditation.

2. have a plan to work towards something. math/ history,/ lit/ el/ tl/ bio. kids in school do a bit of all this and more. still..we do one or two a day. 

3. take medication for anxiety and mood. sigh sigh sigh. not happy about this plan but supposed must try

4. go for that memory boosting course. 

typical Saturday

10 am leave with aishu and ashwin

1030 drop ashwin at paatu class.. grab a vadai for aishu

11 am drop aishu at dance class

1130 pick up ashwin . grav the best cafe mocha ever, truly extra hot 

12 pm pick up aishu 

1230 till 1330 lunch at home

130 leave with with 

2pm drop at drama class

shop for vegetables 

3.30 pick up aishu 

4pm drop aishu at devaram 

5pm pick up aishu take her home

530 leave home with akshaya for math tuition 

6 to 7 write poetry

7pm pick up akshaya. head to the beach for a bit

8.30pm home sweet home.

10 am till 8.30 pm. no joke I say

kids

I'm so happy I enjoy having children 

I've always enjoyed talking to young people and hearing their ideas and nurturing them 

so all the more with my kids. I love them amd love talking with them and playing with them

they teach me so much. 

did drawing with aishu yesterday. 

went cycling with ashwin too. 

and played the taylor swift game ( tm us!l the night before great fun.

Taylor Swift Party

I must say... I throw the best parties haha. of people I know anyway..

and themed parties are my thing. 

today of course I had a lot of help from my little creative one

she decided to paste 6 pieces of cardboard together to create a eras board of sorts. and akshaya thought to do it like the eras poster itself.  both got to painting. it was meant at first as an art piece. then i saw it and figured it could be a mood board though I didn't know that was the term for what i had in mind. list fav songs for each era in there. that was the idea. then after the movie list again. 

morning dawned and new ideas bloomed. I said it could be a dice game. land on an era and name a song, no repeats. 

final version. they made bracelets all afternoon. places bracelets in matching board. then played the game. the clues for those lost were the bracelets themselves. it was great fun. unique too.. aishu aikshaya and I have been playing night after night. 

okay then, decorations. we had collected the posters from St and those went up on the wall, by varshini and aishu . and ashwin had got her a mirror ball which we put up as well.

we had bought so many beads over last few months and kids made bracelets all afternoon, to music from her albums. 

and food. 

we had coloured food for each era, which I made in the kitchen for 3.5 hours in addition to dinner! 

1. guacamole green for debut

2. tortilla chips yellow for 

3. grapes purple for speak now

4. strawberries red for red

5. vanilla cup cakes with incing and blue sprinkles for 1989 ( wow!) 

6. lindt chocs black for reputation 

7. love letters pink for lover 

8. cream cheese frosting as dip white for evermore 

9. choc wafers brown for evermore

10. blue berries for midnight 

like wow right! and aishu and akshaya made gorgeous placards for these foods in their colours and era titles.

felt like a real eras tour party when done

meanwhile they ate oranges, I made potato wedges and two kinds of pasta and their friend brought cute little pau baji, it was  a blast

then the movie and loud singing till 1030pm. then the photo with all our bracelets and it was over! dropped off the girls with taylor swift music blasting and talking talking talking . 

we made her our own that night, something to remember 

small things

today a few things have been making me smile a little precious smile

ashwin was in my bed coz his grandparents are in his room

at 5am as I got out of bed he stirred and said Aatha, huggie? 

my heart seriously melted. not sure when he last said it might have been months not sure when he will say it again. he's 12 and a half and growing up so fast. 

then my little one was sorting out her file in the morning and she said I have my rooster from last year. this year I'll get a new one. I did a double take. my prefect rooster she said. ah. roster. delightful. I'd rather have a prefect rooster than a roster. 

and then in the morning I was going on the train with my son and had my back to the door and he pulled me away coz that door would open soon! aw. he's protecting me. love it so blessed