How I see my little ones

You know as babies each kid brought to mind one thing each
For akshaya predominantly I felt she was a real live doll. A sweet doll that saro and i could play with and look after. Bathe. Feed. Play with.

Not the most sophisticated impression but thats what I remember feeling and wondering. 
It felt surreal. A real live baby doll to play with!

Then with ashwin.. Haha him I felt him to be a puppy. Crawling here there eager to do his own thing. So very loveable. 

And with aishu.. it's a chittukuruvi. A baby sparrow. So small and quick and light. Like I could never really catch her. My sunbeam remember? Can only revel in her warmth. Like a bird. Small cute excitable and also uncatchable

I can't explain these analogies very well or explain. They may not be the best too, I mean doll is a bit cliched?  But it is what I felt !

Now they are 10 7.5 and 5.. .

And I'm scared. Scared I'm losing my doll, she's growing up. She is fearful of spending a day with me feels all I do is scold her or nag her. I'm worried it may be true. But every small thing i say she takes it big so it becomes like a scolding.
She says now and then I wish I were the only baby in the house. That's a cry right? More attention please?

I want to plan solo day out with each. They plan the day. What they do with me.