aishu thoughts

Aishu has been saying and doing so many wonderful things, I must pen them down. 

1. yesterday evening we suddenly got talking about love lace. he is never far from my thoughts but I try not to bring it up in case it stirs feelings in aishu. she was closest to him and most heartbroken, and took the longest to get over him. can you actually get over him? I don't think so. but you know, move on a bit more. 

we talked about him and she said I was very sad when he left but I'm thinking now maybe it's good he did.  she meant good for him. she also said I think he came here just coz he wanted food. we should have let him go long ago.  I told her how I could never do that without knowing how he would do we didn't know then how well he could fly for example. 

she also said something wise, something I had not thought of myself earlier on, that had he stayed longer maybe he would not have known how to fly so well or survive so well there. 

the conversation started with her saying she shouldn't have suddenly moved away when he sat on her head. it must have been so scary for love lace. and I said it's ok all that is good will teach him to be alert and help him survive. 

and she said so good we didn't clip his wings of course we wouldn't and then we started about how he must be doing. how clever he is. how cute he is. and she said all the things above. 

such maturity in a young one don't you think to look back on a super painful, the most painful episode for her in her short life, and see it in a different light. such reflectiveness. and to see the sadness as good for the bird and therefore good overall. 

she did wonder if we should have got another bird to keep him company. we figured both would be plotting their escape if so! 

I myself an still coming to terms with his parting. departure. it has helped me connect with guilt, loss, grief, responsibility, fate, faith, devotion. not that what i felt is in anyway comparable to the loss and grief and guilt of others but it gave me a window into these intense feelings, for me to empathise. 

every hardship in my life allows me to empathise that much more. simple " hardhsips" like being a minority to the more painful episodes in life like wanting and not being able to have immediately, children. . 

I cannot bring myself to want hardship! but when it comes I can take heart that this too must be for the best. 

I say a quick and deep prayer now for all my loved ones . God please protect them! 

back to my baby , Aishwarya. so these were some of her thoughts yesterday. May God bless her always and always. she is so sharp. cuts straight to the point. 

I was grumbling about having to do my budget. it's a yearly lament. haha. and she said why don't you give it to others to do, but you should have given it to them before! she got it straight away! delegate and give them time to do it right! she is only 8 but overflowing with wisdom, truly.