she just lay there tears rolling down her cheek one by one as she talked about how she doesn't want to do anything not stay awake not sleep. not go to school just stay there. and i wish I could help her out of this paralysis... its a feeling we all have felt but she doesn't want to hear that. .
so we talked. about being brave taking a day at a time.
s is torn about drama
wanta to go and wants not to go
wants to go coz she likes drama it can be fun and the drama classmates make her feel good .. potential friends who welcome her etc
doesn't want to go coz of scary trainers and she ends at 6 and worried how she'd feel about that
First real week of school with work does start next week after all
God be with her and bless her and give her strength and courage to do what she needs to do
its not a joke that she needs to take things slow for her mental well-being
she wants to drop history now thinking she should get the textbook and give it a try
I'm happy on one hand she wants to try everything. but worried that just thinking about wanting to try everything overwhelms her
yesterday at kavins party she wanted shruthi to go back to a room with her but I wanted to talk to shruthi too and then small babies turned up. akshaya just left and I felt like man always everything has to be done her way.
I was troubled. stayed awhile then went to the room too. she was just sitting encircled by blocks. I asked if she was OK and she said it was too much. she was doing grounding exercises. I sat with her quietly too. then started building with blocks and she too did . calmed us down. then shruthi joined us.latet ashwin and it was fun. and she was back.
so both times I'm realising how patient I have to be. I could have ruined it if I had yelled at her. we are at a party. just chill. don't monopolise shruthi.
I'm so glad I didn't. I need to be patient. and wait. and trust. for this I need energy.
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